I believe in a higher power, I do. No names necessary - God, Jesus, Allah, all the same to me. To me, all of them mean Hope, Peace, Strength and Good 'Qi', as the chinese say. But sometimes it's hard to hold on, to continue to believe in the face of all the tragedies that surround us.
The recent tragedy at Virginia Tech is one such event that left me feeling in turns, numb, angry, frustrated,grieved and questioning my faith. That a fellow human being proved capable of such a heinous crime is utterly disturbing - it shakes my faith in humanity, which is already quite tattered. That we live in a world where such events are now unfortunately quite commonplace, is even more disturbing and hurtful.
How did we get to this point?
The world today seems a terrible place to live in. Everywhere there are signs of a 'lack of faith' in our fellow humans, be it Iraq, Africa, Asia or the US. That's the only way I can attempt to make sense, of how a young man of 23, with his whole life ahead of him, thought to pick up a gun and kill no less than 33 people before shooting himself. Perhaps he needed something that we as a society couldn't give him...and though no logic can justify what he did...it worries me that we couldn't help him, prevent him from reaching the end of his tether. The whole episode, to me, says more about the state of our society and conscience than it does about the state of his mind.
I keep thinking about his family...did his parents have a clue that the little boy they were raising would one day commit such a monstrous act? What do they think now...now that he is lost and all the innocent souls with him. What of those families that lost their hopes, dreams and futures on that fateful day? Do they try and find an explanation like i'm trying to or just give up, thinking this is all part of God's master-plan?
How does one continue to believe in God, in a world so full of violence? And yet, my daily life is so far removed from these events that I might be living on another planet. My worries are miniscule when compared to the anguish of those affected families - simple routine worries of keeping my home happy and running smoothly for my hubby and me. I cling to my faith, because somehow through it all, I must find the strength to get up every morning with a sense of hope for the day ahead - hope, that today will be better than yesterday and that it will live up to the promise of a better tomorrow. Sometimes it does and often it doesn't...still my spirit keeps me going. Remarkable instrument - the human spirit, unique and fragile, yet strong and resilient!
And so, here I am a miniscule cog in this giant wheel of Life, trying to find my own way, while keeping in time with the collective rhthym. Where do I go from here? I have no clue, but i'm trusting in my faith to get there.
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2 comments:
Well,to say that you have been thinking about the Va Tech tragedy profoundly would be an understatement. Time and again, we see fury, Man's and Nature's, unleash itself in the form of earthquakes, 9-11s, floods, bomb blasts...the list goes on. And time and again, we are forced to think, consider the viewpoints of the perpetrators and the victims, feel depressed, and question the very foundation of our faith. And then what good does that do? Nothing. But as you assert in the concluding part of your essay, you must find the strength to live your life on your terms. You are human. You cannot shut yourself to what is happening around you. You cannot be unaffected. You cannot not think. But you have your own life ahead of you. You know you have to go on. And if your faith gives you the strength for that, hold on to it. :)
where do we go from here? thats a good Qs? I'm sitting here thinking about how scared I'm going to be if Vedaant or avani decide to go abroad for further studies.cant hold on to them and yet I know that I would worry all the time.The Va tragedy was not the first and i have a sick feeling that it most certainly is not the last.So "where do we go from here"?
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